Oviedo, 5am

Oviedo, 5am

I notice it: how I'm slowly getting less certain, confused, 

dissolving into the daily air, coarse tatter of myself, frayed

and rugged at the cuffs. I understand: 

I've lived another year, and that's a hard thing to do. 

To move one's heart almost a hundred times a minute every day!

Just to live another year one has to die over and over

(Ángel González - Birthday Party)


There is nothing to learn from that vacant voice

that sails to me across the line

from the ridiculous to the sublime.

So far from me.

(Nick Cave, Far from Me) 

So Much To Tell You (2015) is an unsent letter to my mother. It is concerned with the illusive nature of self-acceptance and self-love, and a visual record of a time;  a memento of a concentrated effort to study (and desire to put space between) malignant feelings of self-doubt, uncertainty and anger.